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Wedding Essentials

Click 'Like' on wedding invites?

Some couples are sending wedding invites via Facebook instead of using printed invitation cards
The Sunday Times - February 5, 2012
By: Cheryl Faith Wee
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Click 'Like' on wedding invites? -- PHOTO: FACEBOOK

Trendy couples are not just in the soup about spurning shark's fin soup at their nuptials. They are now in hot water over wedding invitations.

Internet-savvy couples are ripping up the usual way of sending invites - those fancy cards with formal words - and using social media site Facebook instead.

Take 24-year-old marketing specialist Lim Yi Ning and 26-year-old product manager Foo Tiang Lim who sent friends and relatives an invitation through Facebook that said: 'You are cordially invited to our wedding.'

 

It worked like this: Those on the guest-list received an online notification. They then visited the page to view the event details and RSVP-ed simply by clicking either 'Join', 'Maybe' or 'Decline'.

No agonising over the type of paper and choice of words, no pen to sign your name, no licking of envelopes and no stamps.

But the move, which is becoming popular among younger couples, does not hit the 'write' note with older folk, etiquette experts and wedding planners.

Cashier Jean Tan, who is in her 50s, does not have a Facebook account and feels that using it to send out wedding invitations is 'insincere'.

She adds: 'It seems like just throwing the occasion out there and if you want to come, you come. It does not follow proper tradition.'

Not sending invitation cards can give the impression that the couple is on a tight budget or pressed for time, says Ms Eunice Tan, 39, founder of Image Flair Academy Of Modern Etiquette.

Mr Jonathan Goh, 40, director of wedding planning company Wedding Acts, says he always advises his clients to send out formal invitation cards.

He says: 'A lot of people say 'move with modern times and technology'. This may be possible 10 to 20 years in the future when everyone is on a social media network, but for now, there are still relatives and friends who prefer to have the paper invite.'

However, Facebook fans point to its ease of use and say that many of their friends already use its 'events' function for casual social gatherings and large-scale events such as concerts and parties.

And couples-to-be increasingly use the online social network to remind guests to 'save the date' of their big day and to find out who is able to attend.

For Ms Lim and her husband, extending this to an actual wedding invitation was just the next step. The couple held their solemnisation and wedding lunch at The Blue Ginger Restaurant in Tanjong Pagar last November. It was attended by more than 40 guests.

She says: 'None of our relatives or friends asked why there were no printed invitations. Both of us typically do not follow tradition and our parents gave us the choice to do what we wanted.'

Even her 85-year-old grandmother was not bothered.

'My grandma is quite old already and I think even if I had given her an invitation card, it might not have registered with her,' says Ms Lim jokingly.

Other relatives who did not have Facebook accounts were told about the wedding over the telephone.

Still, the 20-plus wedding planners whom LifeStyle spoke to have not had clients who have done away completely with cards in favour of a Facebook event page.

Ms Agnes Koh, director of Etiquette & Image International, who is in her 40s, says that printed wedding invitation cards serve as an official announcement of the occasion.

But some couples, such as flight stewardess Tiffany Yeo, 28, and her 35-year-old fiance, a pilot who gave his name only as Mr Tan, plan a compromise.

The couple plan to invite about 350 people to their wedding banquet at Mandarin Oriental Hotel Singapore in June this year.

While they will send printed invitation cards to relatives and friends of their parents, the couple will notify their 200-plus friends and colleagues about the wedding via Facebook, e-mail and text messages.

Ms Yeo says: 'My fiance and I are quite digital people. At our solemnisation last June, we even keyed our wedding vows into our mobile phones and read them off there.'

 

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