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Self-Improvement & Hobbies

Are you lonesome tonight?

Learn the art of flirtation and never drink alone again.
CATS Classified In The Straits Times - February 6, 2009
By: Wong Wei Chen
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Are you lonesome tonight?

Are you lonesome tonight? So goes the plaintive first line of Elvis Presley’s song of the same name. Clubbing with friends of the same sex is, well, not too bad. But there’s only one word to describe the melancholy of drinking alone in a pub – pathetic. So if you’re a loner or bordering on being solitary, cheer up. Here are some tips to pull you out of the quagmire of loneliness.

Good pickup lines matter

First and foremost, you’ve got to get a conversation started, and this is when good pickup lines matter.

While I was doing linguistics back in school, I came across this term, “Yes-No Question”. Essentially, it refers to questions that invite a simple “yes” or “no” answer. Some silly pickup lines that fall into this category are:

  • Have we met before?
  • Do I know you from somewhere?
  • Do you come here often?

“No, no and no.” One could easily brush these questions off with a simple reply in the negative, and there go your chances.

Instead, go for questions that encourage open-ended answers such as:

  • What do you think of the band?
  • How do you find the ambience here?
  • Any views about Obama?

While it’s still possible for your target to give you noncommittal, one-word replies – such as “Great!”, “Cool!” or other no-brainers – with such questions, you stand a better chance of coaxing your prospective date into giving you a more considered and informative reply, which can then spin off to other topics. Imagine you’ve polled his or her opinion about the first African-American US president, and he or she enthusiastically rejoins with opinions on how democracy has matured and cast off the shackles of racism et cetera –you might just have enough topics to last till the pub closes.

Flirtation techniques

Once you’ve got a conversation going, it’s time to start getting “cosy”. Unless you are content to continue drinking alone, you’ve got to cast off your shyness somehow.

Act and think like an animal. Rather strong words here, but I’m certainly not asking you be a brute – there are different kinds of animals after all, and you don’t have to be a horny rhino.

My intention is to use animal behaviour as an analogy to help you overcome your diffidence. Beasts follow their instincts: when it’s time to eat, they eat with gusto; and when it’s time to mate, they mate for all they’re worth. Within the entire animal kingdom, man stands apart as the only species capable of self-consciousness, and hence afflicted with embarrassment, shyness and whatnot. So stop thinking about how you’ll look or sound or whether your hair is messy – who cares? The fact that your prospect is willing to continue conversing means that he or she is interested in your company.

When you’ve overcome this initial barrier, you are ready to employ some flirtation techniques. Here goes:

  • Mention the person’s name often
  • Lightly and briefly touch an arm or knee (but don’t go further than that)
  • Lean in while talking
  • Stay close
  • Compliment the person
  • Smile a lot

While executing these techniques, remember that confidence and attitude are everything. Remember: be an animal. Best of luck!

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